Because of Sarah

My sister Sarah died. She died when she was 25 and I was 29. It was almost 9 years ago. I'm sure as the days go by there will be much to share.

Death causes such complex emotions. It is exhausting. It makes you very, very angry. It makes you question everything you believed to be true. I lost my sister and watched my parents lose their child.

The years have changed me in so many ways.Through the past nine years, I have often thought, you know I did that because of Sarah. Because she died too young and left such a hole in my life and heart, I truly know the blessing of life. I know the importance of every moment, and I have her to thank for it. So do my kids (read below).

So today, because of Sarah, I didn't kill my children. Even when they were fighting over my brand, new I Mac. Even though I found one of them in the hall with only the wireless keyboard, and the other standing guard in front of the monitor screaming. They are still alive, and they can thank Sarah.

I did however in honor of Sarah (she was cleaner than me, always organizing her room and making my look bad!) make them clean my living room. Every speck of dust and bit of leftover wrapping paper are where they belong, thanks to Sarah.

Even as I write this funny story I miss her deeply. If I could see her and tell her one thing, it would be thank you. Thank you for teaching me the importance of every moment. My kids thank you too.