Irony of committment

So today I was reading a blog post on LuLuLemon Athletica. Here is what I found within the post:


“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating…. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”


Seems so fitting for where I am right now. In the middle of making and evaluating all of our commitments! This time of  year is crazy for moms. We are getting our kids ready for school. Sounds easy right? Not so. They need clothes, shoes, underwear, school supplies, backpacks, lunch boxes. We have well child checks, dentist , orthodontist, and eye appointments. Fall activities are beginning or on the horizon. Our schedules are coming together. And yes summer is ending. But it's not over, and you want to make sure they have a great time so that means planning things for them to do right now. Can you say overload?


It makes sense with all of this going on in our children's lives that we pull back and refuse to commit for ourselves. However, the quote above reminded me of what comes when I choose that route. It's a sense of being trapped in my life, instead of living it the way I like to live it. It's knowing that I can have a life I love if I take the first step forward instead of back. Here I go with all the craziness and things to do, I am still going to commit to me...(that's me stepping forward!)

Committment

In today's world commitment is a very dirty word. You can think of many reasons I would guess not to commit to all sorts of things. We all do. I'm the best at "not committing." So good in fact, that I do it all the time! I have four children. That gives me all kinds of chances to say, "I can't commit."

I mentioned in an earlier post I read "Have a little Faith" while in Florida. The Rabbi talks about our generations inability to commit, especially to Church. Vacation was the perfect time for me to process this information! No commitments, no where to go. Just the black and white words on the page. He was right. I have a commitment issue. Darn! I thought I was divvying our time up among all the things we enjoyed doing. I didn't realize that a little bit of this and little bit of that what was really my attempt to "not commit."

So, I've accepted it, first step, right? Well, I've actually acted on it too. I volunteered at church Saturday (seemed like the logical place to start since the Rabbi mentioned it and all). It felt good.

I know we have all volunteered and done this and that, but have we committed? Have we really committed to a better community, church, school, team, family, or whatever it may be? I don't think so. I know I haven't.

Hopefully you aren't like me, and this isn't an issue for you. I know some of you could write a post on overcommitment. If it turns it out that  you are like me, then join me. Start somewhere.

On a more serious note, if you see me, please do not try and trick me and ask me to do a whole bunch of things that know one else wants to do. I intend to pick my commitments carefully. Very, very carefully.

Cussing

Only days after I unlock one of the doors to a fulfilling life, I learn I again have failed as a parent. Zac, my 4 year old, is cussing like a sailor. Why? Why Zac? He has no answer. I'm pretty sure his older brother introduced him to the movie Benchwarmers.

Where is Zac now? In his room crying because we have banned this movie for a long time! Devastating.

Enjoying the moment

I've been thinking about life and legacies recently. My grandmother just turned 80 and we had a big Birthday party for her. In the days prior to the party, I thought deeply about what she meant to me over the years. In Florida on vacation, I read a book, "Have a little Faith" by Mitch Albom. Loved it! It's about a rabbi who is nearing the end of his life and, he asks the author to deliver his eulogy.

Both of these made me think about what I will pass onto my children. What is my legacy to them? These two remarkable people, the rabbi and my grandmother, passed on tradition and stability. He is a rabbi who believed deeply in his culture and faith. He was very methodical in his life. He lived in only 3 houses, didn't wear fancy clothes or drive luxury vehicles. Neither did my Grandmother. She raised children. Cooked and cleaned each and everyday of her life including now. They LIVED life, it didn't pass them by.

My life is so crazy at times, I feel like it is passing me by. I'm always trying to get this done so I can move onto the next thing never even realizing I have completed the first. We've lived in 5 houses already! We are inundated we places to go, things to buy, what others are doing that we aren't. Previous generations weren't. We have too many choices to make ALL the time. It's driving me crazier than I was!

I feel in looking back at previous generations there has to be a lesson to learn. This time, I've learned I want my children to feel me in their everyday lives. That my everyday life can be that, just everyday. My legacy will be passed on in what I do everyday.

Maybe they will think of me when they are making banana, chocolate chip pancakes on Saturday or dragging their children to church on Sunday. As they are picking up their children's clothes off the floor, maybe they will hear my voice in their memory asking them to do the same. We are a long way off from these scenarios, but I want to remind myself that what I do now with my family will be my legacy one day.

I am making it now, we all are. So, take a deep breath, don't schedule your life away. Join me in enjoying the moment.